Sometimes it feels as though I’m in some kind of robotic trance. I begin just simply accepting things for the way they are, or go about my day without a question in the world, and just follow along, since it’s just the thing that I do, just because.
This just because lifestyle is a lifestyle that people simply accept, and go along with because that’s how it’s “always been” for them. People are scared of change and are scared to ask themselves the hard questions that may lead them to a realization that veering off course would actually make them much, much happier than staying on their current path.
I find so many people in life follow this just because lifestyle without ever questioning it. In fact, I might even argue that they actively fight these questions. Most don’t want to feel different (at least when they are surrounded by people that also don’t want to feel different), so they choose to accept the way their life and their society works since there’s no other way to be (or so they believe).
I believe it is this just because that causes so much misery and wasted lives in society. Maybe I’m ignorant and young, and don’t know anything about the real struggles of the world, but I’d argue that many of the consistent factors of mental and emotional hardships in one’s life can be solved by going against the just because.
An example of this is one that crosses my mind a lot, mostly due to an old girlfriend that I was with for roughly four years. During these four years, there were, of course, many great moments. We loved each other, we explored together, and we had fun together. On the other hand, there were many, many (did I mention many) bad times. We fought more than we had normal moments, let alone good moments. We were plagued by a common problem in relationships: attempting to shape each other into our perfect companion. Looking back, it seems obvious, but hindsight bias is real, and it’s hard to see it in the moment, especially when you’re actively repressing your introspection about it. I would constantly find myself thinking, “why am I with her? There has to be something other than this in a relationship.” But of course, I kept it going, because I was too far in it already.
We had been together for over 2 years when the majority of our fighting began, and it seemed like a waste to “throw that all away.” Well, that’s what I told myself at least. This shitty relationship kept going for another two years. But if I had been honest with myself, I would have realized I was simply just scared to break up with her and scared of what my life would be like without a girlfriend. So basically, I stayed with her just because that was the norm of my life. I was scared of change. Luckily at the end of the four years, I kind of snapped and broke it off suddenly and completely. It was probably one of the best decisions and one of the hardest decisions I have yet made in my life.
So from this, I would argue, question your relationships. If you start asking yourself a question and you feel yourself repressing it, and fighting your oncoming answers, maybe that’s exactly the question you want to be asking, and the question you want to take the time to figure out.
This idea of asking the uncomfortable questions doesn’t just apply to relationships. The exact same methodology can be used for a job that you’re miserable in, or a friendship that you feel is one-sided and is giving more stress than happiness (what are friendships for, after all?), and many other situations.
In conclusion, I would just say, ask those uncomfortable questions. Follow your tough thoughts. Don’t be afraid to stray off of the just because lifestyle just because you’re afraid of change. Change can be good, and sameness can be bad.
p.s. 5 minutes after posting this, I came across a Wait But Why post that is a great attempt at an explanation behind the fear of change from this just because.